A life of accomplishments: COVID-19 victim persevered despite disability

Jan. 2—Sandy Wheeler persevered in life despite her developmental disability, and when she died after a battle with COVID-19 she was remembered as being both a self-advocate and a fierce advocate for others.

She also left a lasting impression with her personality and character. People who knew Wheeler describe her in much the same way: a person of faith, a caring friend, active and proud.

Cousin Deb Hanson said "she brought sunshine to every room," and sister Linda Erling said "she was so happy-go-lucky."

Protection and Advocacy Project Executive Director Teresa Larsen will remember that Wheeler always had a smile on her face and "a twinkle in her eye. She had a full-faced laugh."

Wheeler, 58, had recently retired as a housekeeper for Pride Inc., a local nonprofit organization that helps people with disabilities live and work in the community. But she didn't sit in her downtown Bismarck apartment watching the world go by. She was a people person.

There were new people to meet, friends and family to drop by on and say hello to, or to call every day to check on.

But after a long battle with pneumonia and later with COVID-19, Wheeler died Nov. 7 at a Bismarck hospital. Her sister had flown in from Raleigh, North Carolina, the day before to be by her side.

"I was glad I was able to be there," Erling said. "I didn't want her to be alone. I told her that we all loved her. I kept talking to her, hoping that she could hear me."

Hanson had visited Wheeler in the hospital intensive care unit days before and spoken with her before she was placed on a ventilator.

"We talked about death and dying and she said, 'I don't want to die. I have a lot of things to do,'" the cousin said.

Wheeler, weak and not having much of an appetite, lost her ability to talk when a feeding tube was inserted down her throat.

"I would still talk to her, and I told her I will know when she's tired and can't fight anymore," Hanson said. "That's when she curled her fingers around my hand."

Life of accomplishments

Wheeler's parents wanted their daughter to have the experience of living in a neighborhood and to let her become her own person, according to Hanson.

"She was so high-functioning," the cousin said. "She knew how she wanted to accomplish things and said, 'I thought about it and I'm doing it.'"

And accomplish she did.

She worked 40 years with Pride Inc.; was treasurer for the American People Self-Advocacy Association, a group run by and for people with disabilities; and was a board member of The ARC of Bismarck and the The ARC of North Dakota. She served on the Bis-Man Transit board, and was a member of the Legislative Working Committee, a group of self-advocates and disability advocates meeting weekly during state legislative sessions. She also testified in front of legislative committees on disability issues. She received numerous awards for her commitment and service to the disability community.

"I remember her as such a vocal self-advocate," said Larsen, with the Protection and Advocacy Project. "She would speak out and she was pretty confident. She was a good role model. Her perspective was important to me."

"Sandy was a pretty fierce advocate of inclusion for all people," said Kirsten Dvorak, executive director of The ARC of Bismarck and The ARC of North Dakota. "And she lived it. The disability community lost a great one."

Friends say faith was important to Wheeler. She was a fixture at the Church of St. Mary as an usher, a choir member and a helper with children's liturgy class. For 14 years, Barb Steiner stood next to Sandy in the choir loft of the church.

"How she touched me was her faithfulness," Steiner said. "To me she was someone who was called to share her gifts with the church. She didn't let her disability stop her. She gave more of herself than a lot of people."

Leon Dietrich went to Bismarck High School with Wheeler and they never stopped being friends.

"She was a good friend of mine," he said. "She liked doing the things that I like to do. We watched out for each other."

During the early months of the pandemic when businesses closed and people were asked to shelter inside their homes, "She would call me or I would call her every day or every other day," Dietrich said. "That meant a lot to me."

The pair also were partners each summer, as they were hired for a week to clean cabins at Camp of the Cross at Lake Metigoshe. Hanson would drive them to the Christian youth camp in northern North Dakota.

"When we would get to the camp, there would be a welcoming party there to greet them. You could not wipe the smile off her face," Hanson said. "They (staff) were so happy to see her."

The phone calls, the smile, the laugh and the hugs; that's what people say they will miss most about Wheeler.

"Sandy liked to walk a lot regardless of the weather, and she would stop in at the office and say 'Hi, how's everyone?'" Larsen said.

Dvorak said she will miss Wheeler's hugs, and she and Hanson both said they will miss the daily calls.

"I'm going to miss those 7 p.m. phone calls," Hanson said. "She never missed a night. She kept tabs on me. She was always thinking of somebody. I think she was the most caring person I ever met."

Reach Mike McCleary at 701-250-8206 or mike.mccleary@bismarcktribune.com.

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