Riding rough road: Celebrating past to cope with dementia

Sept. 10--Supporting, taking care of, or otherwise "being there" for a parent who's struggling with dementia or Alzheimer's is one of the most heart-wrenching, frustrating and exhausting things that someone can deal with.

Sadly though, with one in every 10 people over the age of 65 in the United States suffering with Alzheimer's, there are a lot of people who have the unfortunate experience of watching someone who raised them -- and taught them many of the lessons that made them who they are -- slowly fade away.

One of the many people who's going through this difficult situation with a loved one is Cynthia Burdick, of McKinney, who's father has dementia.

One of the things that Burdick and her family are doing to ease some of the pain of her father's journey into dementia is restoring his prized 1934 Chrevrolet Standard DC Coupe, with hopes of giving him a chance to ride in it at least one last time.

For more than five decades, Burdick's father, Harry Ozbun, Jr., had a passion for cars, and he owned more than a 100 vehicles over the course of his lifetime.

"My dad bought the Chevy in '77," Burdick said. "That car was always my favorite, and when I was a young girl, I 'claimed' the car and always said it was mine."

Luckily, Burdick's husband, Earl, is an auto mechanic (and owner of Burdick Auto Solutions, in McKinney), so he was able to help find a shop to restore the 84-year-old car, which ended up being L&M Auto Center in Greenville.

"We don't rebuild engines and we didn't have the time to take away from the work we're doing for our customers to do it ourselves, so we had to find somebody," Earl Burdick said.

While the Burdick family was able to restore the '34 Chevy to drivable condition as a celebration of who Ozbun was, they are still very much in the middle of their journey with dementia.

"It sucks, it sucks for all of us," Cynthia said. "Sometimes he doesn't remember that I'm his daughter -- he'll think that I'm an aunt or a sister."

To voice the way it feels to watch her father struggle with memory issues, Cynthia wrote the following poem:

LOST EYES

"There's a shell behind the eyes that once held my fathers soul

"As I stare into your eyes, all I see is a vast distance between us

"Where does your brain take you, I wonder?

"Do you remember when I used to sleep in your lap during church and you would play with my hair?

"Do you realize now you are lost?

"I see it

"I feel it

"Soon you won't remember this strong girl you raised, but I will. My husband will, My daughter will.

"My faith is strong because of you.

"The fight is real, it will be fought, it will be lost.

"A daddy's girl I will always be."

___

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